week 7 Victor and Vulnerability.

Well, I can say ive been on alot of diets in my life but this one takes the cake! Lol

This diet has been very hard and its making me more aware of my attitude and helping me with better emotional regulation. I was feeling down and disappointed with myself as old blueprint kicked in after I had a loss. I was feeling aloof, after the fact and that detachment had always been my safe place, to be when something traumatic would happen. It felt much safer and took me out of any pain. Its the same recycled feelings that overplayed in my head. I would take myself out of the game of life when this would happen. But instead of seeing my self the victim of circumstances i am now seeing the victor inside of me! I am being compassionate and being my own best friend. and my oh my I realized I had been abandoning myself every time id go thru something difficult. Oh my heart hurts as I write that. Its so true. I can feel the layers come off one by one and I feel more vulnerable than ever before. I see myself in Gods light and know that its shining from within. After all we all have the light of Christ within us some just brighter than others.

I have had a lot of negative perceptions and opinions in my life and I am realizing my mental blocks now. I have been falling off a few times a day but i am noticing my patterns and its getting easier to identify when I am being negative nelly!

I am smiling more and feel more gratitude in these difficult times and I am feeling in the Christmas spirit too! normally Christmas is a difficult time for me as I have had many loved ones pass on. But instead of holding on to grief, I am releasing that and enjoying the true spirit of Christmas season that is upon us.

One thought on “week 7 Victor and Vulnerability.

  1. It is not until we make time and space for ourselves that we can see what’s been weighing on us for so many years. You are doing wonderful work and what you are coming to realize is so magnificently profound on a much larger scale that which you will come to realize later in the MKMMA program. Keep it up.

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